Why Carrie Bradshaw Sucks at Life

Don’t get my wrong, I love me some Sex and the City–in controlled doses. Ever since its syndication on E! though, my tolerance of the series has dropped exponentially.

In case you don’t subscribe to premium cable or haven’t caught it on TBS or E!, this series follows a group of 4 professional women living in New York as they discuss and deal with the men in their lives. Miranda is a driven, intelligent, successful, and control-freaky lawyer whose life get thrown off course (for the better) when a poor but incredibly sweet bartender knocks her up. Charlotte, a prissy, prudish, slightly delusional art curator marries into old Scottish money only to find that her seemingly perfect man is impotent. She then falls in love with a bald Jewish guy and lives happily ever after. Samantha is, in simply terms, a whore. An entertaining one sure, but one whose personality and sexual endeavors read more like a caricature than a sexually-liberated 40-something.

As irritating as the supporting cast is, I’ve grown to like them (especially Miranda). Even with their obviously irritating qualities, they all display passing moments of vulnerability that make them feel like humans I can relate to. Carrie Bradshaw, the pinnacle of the show, is the one that I cannot stand.

Girls across American have grew to envy Carrie’s seemingly idyllic life–hot men drooling over her, never ending wardrobe, chic job, and living the socialite dreams in the Big Apple. I take issue with many aspects of her character though. Have no idea what’s not to love? I’ll list them out…

Reason #1: Carrie Bradshaw SUCKS at fashion.

Outfit 1: Yes, the Chanel logo might be etched in to the fabric, but a bandanna, tie-dyed jean capris, and a blotchy rainbow top? Are you serious? None of these items look good separately, and together it just looks like a hot rainbow mess. Carrie, you just spent $800 on the most hideous top that I’ve ever seen. Coco is rolling over in her grave.

Outfit 2: Let me preface this by letting you know that this scene took place in the Hamptons. What you’re seeing is a 35+ year old woman wearing a bandeau top and cowboy hat to a party in Amagansett. This is what she’s wearing when she runs into Big and his classy young fiance Natasha, who wears a simple sheath dress. That look of horror and confusing would be on my face too.

Outfit 3: Again, what self respecting human that isn’t on their way to the pool or on a jog leaves the house exposing that much stomach? Is this just so executive producer Sarah Jessica Parker can fluff her ego and show the world her flat abs? I get that a portion of the show was filmed in the 90′s, but to run errands and go to work with your stomach showing? What if you needed to eat, or sit down for that matter?

Outfit 4: Apart from flaunting her tummy, that is a belt suspended in mid(driff). What the hell? It serves no purpose and looks absolutely idiotic.

Reason #2: Carrie Bradshaw is kind of a self-centered BITCH

Oh no, my friend Charlotte’s marriage is falling apart and is unable to conceive a child! My career-driven friend got knocked up and doesn’t know what to do! My other best friend has breast cancer! Let’s think of a way to turn this around and focus it on ME and my menial relationship problems. My friend throws out her back and it immobile lying naked on the floor…hmm, I’ll send my boyfriend to tend to her then bring over a bag of bagels the next day and hope she forgives me. Charlotte, you just got divorced? How about I guilt trip you until you give me your 3-karat diamond from Tiffany’s to get me out of my self-inflicted financial problem? Thanks girl, biffles for lyfe!!!

Reason #3: Carrie Bradshaw treated Aidan like SHIT

Aidan is gorgeous, kind, super sexy, successful, and ADORES her. How does Carrie pay him back? By lying about smoking, cheating on him with her married ex, breaking his heart, conning him into getting back together with her, inviting that ex to hang out with them constantly, then breaking his heart once again. WHEN is it EVER a good idea to invite the man that you cheated on your current boyfriend with to his country house? Why is it ever alright to maintain a relationship with that said ex? They made an adorable couple, but flat out Carrie treated him like garbage. She didn’t deserve him. Speaking of men she didn’t deserve…

Reason #4: Big is WAY out of Carrie Bradshaw’s league.

Mr. Big is insanely sexy. The deep voice, charismatic personality, aloofness–I completely agree understand why Carrie was intoxicated by his unobtainability. Nothing drives me more wild than a tall, dark, and handsome Wall Street investor, especially if he owns a penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park. But let’s get real–would this kind of guy really marry a twinkie sex columnist? This would be like if Prince Harry married Aubrey O’Day. Later, she destroys his marriage by becoming his mistress. I suppose the bad relationship karma provides fodder for a third film though…

Reason #5: Carrie Bradshaw is the epitome of financially irresponsible.

…as in, to the point of having an addiction. I might live from month-to-month, but I’m still living on an allowance and I’m a COLLEGE STUDENT. We can all agree that dropping $600 on a pair of Manolos and maxing out a credit card in attempts to intimidate an ex’s 20-something year old WIFE is a stupid idea. Yet she does things like this in every other episode. God knows I’ve had my bouts with monetary mismanagement, none of us are above that–the thing is, most of us learn this lesson when we’re young. Carrie is 35+ years old and realized that she has no money in savings to purchase her apartment. Instead of humbly re-examining her lifestyle (like Rebecca Bloomwood of Confessions of a Shopaholic) and moving to an apartment within her means, she plays damsel in distress until Big, Miranda, Samantha, and eventually Charlotte offer to bank roll her purchase. Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

Read more by Chelsea Cawood here.

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15 Responses to Why Carrie Bradshaw Sucks at Life

  1. Oh my Lord, Henry Aberson will never let me hear the end of this… LOL!!

    Love your style Miss Cawood, not just in clothing but in writing! Bravo!!

  2. This is absolutely brilliant. And all too true!

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  4. nyeasmina says:

    haha this post just cracked me up! so true…. new reader of your blog by the way

    check out mine
    allmymemoirs@blogspot.com

  5. whatsaysyou says:

    Brilliant post about what you think about Carrie Bradshaw

  6. Nancy says:

    HOLY CRAP! THANK YOU! When I was working in a retail store they brought in a new manager who WORSHIPED Carrie Bradshaw/SJP! I REALLY don’t get the big deal about this chick…I just read an article today on the “evolution” of SJP’s style. It pretty much mirrored the pictures you had lined up in the first part…and they still idolized her. I haven’t been a fan of her since First Wives Club… Anyway, SO enjoyed your article

  7. Emmett K says:

    Brillant post. I don’t mind Sex and the City in small doses, but Carrie always drove me mad. I could never understand why girls idolized her. Her character was whiny and annoying.you are so right, she did not deserve big!

  8. Julia says:

    I agree with you like..completely:) I love the series, but my favourite characters were Miranda and Charlotte – they seemed much more real. I mean..Carrie wrote a little freakin’ column – how could she afford all those designer clothes and shoes + rent? In NYC?? and all those cab rides?? oh well..

  9. Ashley says:

    You should have mentioned how terrible she was in that second SATC movie. Big freaking bought her a flat screen tv for an anniversary present, and she would rather get some damn jewelery? Dear god, Carrie. Think of all the badass programming you could be watching on that thing. Don’t you think you have enough jewelry pieces in your massive wardrobe collection?
    Carrie was such a big brat in that movie. I would have happily taken that tv as a gift. Just think of all the ESPN I could be watching on there or my cooking shows. Ahh…

    Good post, though. Really made me laugh =)

  10. ellie says:

    Well for one thing.. its a show–just for entertainment. So you can just chill. And the show is suppose to be based around Carrie’s life. Of course it’s gonna be a little self centered. Although I agree with her unrealisti, excessive shopping, Aiden was just as much as a dumbass boyfriend than she was a bitch to him. Lastly, fashion’s definition isn’t the latest, hottest, designer clothing. Fashion is style, and the writers wanted to show Carrie’s personality through her crazy style. It never really matches. That’s the fucking point.

  11. Alex says:

    I agree- Carrie got on my nerves the most. She treated all the guys like dirt, including Berger and Petrovsky, and any time someone tried to tell her selfish a$$ something, she would pitch a fit. She couldn’t ever be my friend, because if she showed up to our 30th restaurant meal that week in an outfit costing upwards of $10,000 asking me for money, she’d get cussed out. Coming to my apartment asking me why I didn’t offer it? She wouldn’t dare. You got yourself into this, you get yourself out. I’m a friend, not an ATM. I don’t know, she got on my nerves something awful.

  12. Melaina says:

    Ok, I agree with Reasons 2, 3, SOME of 4, and 5. Although, I really do like her fashion. But before you roll your eyes hear me out. The reason I like her clothes is that she’s just wearing what she likes. And I have a strong believer in wearing whatever you like. Sure she couldn’t afford it BUT she likes what she’s wearing and that has given me the courage to do the same. Of course, my budget is about $1000 less than her’s but still. But yeah, I do think she should of gone with Aidan. And yes, she is a selfish homewrecker. So overall, in my opinion it’s more Carrie’s personality and actions makes her suck. :D

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